All the fun of the fair

We've had a great weekend, it's been majestic. For three days, that's Friday, Sunday and yesterday, the town has been very busy with loads of people here to see the 'long boat' racing on the River Mekong, here in Bueng Kan.

They are called 'long boats' because that is what they are. dad told me how many men there is in each boat, but I forget. It's the number five, with another number five sitting next to it.

They race with each other and go very fast. Everyone shouts and screams for their boat to win. They are very happy when they do, but others just say rude words. I could tell you what the words are, but they are Thai words. You won't understand, so I won't bother.

The best bit for me was the bump cars. Dad wouldn't let me go on my own, but I sat with him and he let me drive. I tried to bump everybody but no one tried to bump me. I think they were scared to try and bump my dad.

I know I would have been scared to try and bump my dad. He's bad enough when he drives his Mitsubishi and they don't even bump him. Only nearly bump him.

He let me go on other rides that go round and round but they were too slow and boring. My brothers who aren't my real brothers went on the bouncy castle blow up air bag. I couldn't because I was an inch too short. I hope I can grow another inch before next year.

They had such a great time that they were sick. Dad said it was because of all the shit they ate, and the Coca Cola. I don't think it was that. I think it was because they had such a majestic time. I sometimes get sick when I'm all excited and I don't eat shit, Or drink Coca Cola.

LINGER FICKIN' GOOD

Now that I'm getting big and have loads of teeth, I can eat anything. Well nearly anything, not chilli and pepper though. I tried a chilli once. I thought it was a piece of plastic. I can't describe what it was like. Don't try to find out for yourself will you. My tongue was on fire and wouldn't go away, no matter how much I spitted. Mum gave me some yoghurt that helped a bit. Now I don't eat any plastic if it looks like a chilli.

Dad says that it's easy for me to learn to feed myself because everybody in Thailand sits on the floor to eat, and they all use their fingers.

I have my dinner on my own plate, the same as dad does. Everyone else eats off the same plate. It always looks better than what I get. Dad says it's the same, but he's such a liar. I try to take their dinner and they all shout"Oy!" It's great fun.

I can say "Good Girl" now. Every time I do something naughty, I say "Good Girl". Everyone laughs instead of yak me. It's great fun and I want to say more words and make everyone laugh.