How do you smell that again?

I get hiccups a lot. Dad says it's because I drink too much beer. I don't, he's being silly. I only drink milk and water. I'd like to try Coca Cola, but I have to wait until I'm 18 apparently.

I don't mind the hiccups. It's only my tummy wanting to get out for a look around, and getting annoyed because it has to stay indoors all the time getting ready for when I have my dinner, or have a banana, or something.

I like different sounds, don't you? Like hiccups, they're funny. I like my favourite toy. It's the tube inside a kitchen roll. I shout into it and it shouts back at me. dad says it's called an echo. It's a strange word for a funny noise, and difficult to spell for a short word.

My dad makes funny noises too, when he's asleep in his special sleep chair. He says he doesn't make any sounds when he's asleep. He's such a liar. Mum says he sounds like an old oil drum full of snakes having a fight with a tiger. I have to take her word for that. But he does sound funny.

I like different smells too. I like my mum, she smells like soap powder and chicken soup. My dad smells of beer and cigarette smoke, but it suits him.

My brothers, who aren't my real brothers smell horrible, like poo with sick in it, yuck.

Leo, Jenny and Tiger smell like... well, I 'spose they smell of dog. When they have a bath, except Tiger, dad can never catch him, they smell like sham poo. But when they're nice and clean, they run to the field next door and rub themselves in cow poo. They just don't like not smelling of dog.

I don't know what I smell like. Funny that, isn't it. Do you know what you smell like? I bet you don't. Dad says I smell lovely. He says it makes him want to eat me. so I 'spose I must smell like beef pie.