Yet another wedding

I've just got back from another wedding in the village. they're all the same. Only it's a different girl, but with the same cushion stuffed up the front of her dress. And a different man, but with the same silly grin stuffed inside his face.

It's the same big tent roof stuck on poles. The same long wooden tables, and the same choice of red or blue plastic chairs.

This time, I thought I saw some pink plastic chairs, so wanted to sit on one of them for a change. They weren't pink at all. They were red, but very old, and had been left out in the sunshine.

There was no jelly, of course, only the same plates of yuccky stuff. I had a cucumber.

I don't know why I told you that. I 'spose it's because I was so bored, I wanted to bore you as well, so's you know how I felt.

When I get get married, it won't be boring, 'cause it won't be the same as anyone elses. We're talking at least twenty years time here, so by then I'll be able to have my wedding on the moon.

Everyone will come in rocket ships. though by then, I don't expect there will be any petrol left for rocket ships. You'll all have to come in Magnet Ships.

They're not invented yet. My idea, if no one pinches it, is to to build a giant magnet on the moon. It will have a positive charge. the Magnet Ships will have negative charges in them, so when they're switched on they will attract each other. The ships being smaller than the moon, will be drawn away from the earth's atmoswhatsit, out into space. When the ship is about a mile away, the magnet will be switched off, and the ship will parachute to the moon surface.

A bit far fetched do you think? well you wait and see if I'm not right.

I will, of course, design my own dress, and have Auntie Pee make it on her special machine that she makes things on.

I already have the perfect dress, but it won't fit me when I'm old.

I expect fashions will be different by then, so maybe I won't keep the pink sparkly stuff.

What I won't have, is that stupid cushion stuffed up the front. It must be traditional Thai style, but I don't like it.

There will be beer flavour jelly for dad and his friend. The rest of us will have champagne flavour. The cake will be twenty tiers high (because of the low gravy on the moon it won't fall over). And the toast will be in Coca Cola.

I shall invite everyone, even famous people like Mr. and Mrs. Beckhamandeggs, that's what dad calls them. I don't expect any famous people will come though. They will all be jealous because my wedding is better than theirs.

Now I bet you're all wondering how people will get back home? Well I'll tell you. It's quite simple really. The ships will have a positive charge in them, as well as negative. All you have to do is; switch over to positive and the magnet on the moon will push the ship away.

Because it is downhill all the way to earth, you just enjoy a free fall until it's time to use the parachute again.

Dad says it's a good idea and he wishes he'd thought of it.

The only problem , as he sees it is; if the government can't think of a way to tax magnetic currents, then they will ban it.