I found my dad

Dad phoned yesterday. He’s not in Lilo at all, he’s in India. But I’m not to tell anyone. How can I? I can’t talk yet. If I could I would have told him bloody not to go away without telling me.

He said he had to go to get some work done. He’s up against a deadline. That worried me even more until I had the chance to look up ‘deadline’; it’s got nothing to do with being dead. But now he’s gone and got his finger stuck which is why he couldn’t speak too long. He said if he can get his finger out, he’ll be back soon.

He said he likes it in India, at least the clean part where he stays. That’s why he named me India; “The Jewel of the East”. I like that, but I think he got it wrong.

I wouldn’t have minded being called ‘Cathay’, or even ‘China’. At least it’s more romantic sounding than Gary with his “Manchester”, yuk!

Talking of which, he’s been around again getting on our nerves. He said to mum; “I hope you’re managing ok with him not being here to look after you. Is there anything I can do for you if you know what I mean?”

Mum said; “Chai ka. Kun pai lao, kwai.” For those of you who can’t understand Thai it means; yes, go and do something rude with a buffalo. For those of you who can understand, then I’m sorry about the spelling. Gary didn’t understand, and he can’t spell either.

Happy holidays.

It’s been holiday time again. The Chinese have been having lots of fun so we did too. That’s why I haven’t done my blog lately. We went on a bus. I had never been on a bus before. It was dead good. At least the first bit, it was a long journey to a place called Burriram, so I got bored and slept a lot till it got dark again. Mum calls it “Bullylam” because she can’t say the letter ‘r’ very well. It’s down near Bangkok. Bangkok is our capital city if you don’t know much.

Mum’s younger sister lives there in a toy shop. Oh my God, I don’t where to start telling how majestic it is living in a toy shop for two days, and not having anyone telling me not to touch stuff. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss not having dad around, but can you imagine what it would have been like? The same as him going to live in a pub for two days and telling him he’s only allowed to drink cups of tea. Leave the snooker table alone, you’ll break it. Don’t touch the dartboard, it’s dangerous. Behave yourself and stop whistling every time the barmaid bends over.

We came back home through a huge storm with loud bangs and lightning flashing all the way. Mum kept telling the driver to slow down but he couldn’t hear with the thunder. It was majestic swishing through all the water. Everyone was dead scared, except for me.

Mum said it was good we came home when we did. All the roads are squished away and we would have been stuck there. I think that would have been more than majestic, it would have been supermajectic.