I really, really want a puppy

Jenny’s a grandmother, and she’s only four years old. She had five babies when she was still two. One of her daughters, who lives at the house we had the party, now has five sons. Leo already had ten, that’s loads, even more than five.

I don’t know where they all live now. They had to go away to live somewhere else because it is unlucky in Thailand to keep puppies from the first litter. Litter is what you call puppies when they are born. It doesn’t mean they are rubbish because they are not.

Dad didn’t even have to put his foot down and be ignored. Mum is very superstrictious which dad says can be annoying, but sometimes is handy.

I wanted to take one of Jenny’s grandson puppies home to live with us and sleep in my bed. Actually I wanted to take all five but thought that would be pushing luck too far.

I picked out the one that was fat and lazy looking with droopy eyes because he reminded me of dad. But mum put her foot down this time. Her feet aren’t as big as dad’s, (no one’s are) but when she puts them down, they stay put down.

She said it is unlucky to bring home puppies from the same family. I think she made that up because it sounds haberdashery to me.

Anyway now I think about it, it probably isn’t a good idea. I don’t want dad to be angry when he comes back from Lilo and have him say; “How the bloody are we going to feed more? I’m not made of money.”

If he were, mum would have spent him a long time ago. That’s a joke by the way in case you think I meant it.

Anyway, it may be that Jenny will be having more babies soon because all the dogs have got sticky bums at the moment. It’s to do with the heat apparently. When it gets too hot, all the dogs get sticky bums. Then they have babies.

I don’t know if that’s true or not but it’s what my mum said, and she’s not a liar like my dad.

Art and ambition.

It was my sister’s birthday yesterday. She went to Vulgaria to cebrilate instead of going to college to do her art stuff. We don’t do art stuff here in Thailand. Dad said that no one does it because everyone has to work too hard growing rice, watching the cows to make sure they eat properly, and catching fish, snakes and geckos for their dinner.

I don’t really know what art stuff is, but it has to be more interesting than growing rice. I know we have to eat but wouldn’t it be better to buy things to eat at the market and do art stuff instead?

I have three sisters. They all live in England. Two of them do art stuff and one would like to but is too busy making sure her children eat properly and teaching them to them to behave themselves and say “thank you”.

I don’t think I will do art stuff. I like singing and dancing so maybe I’ll be a movie star instead. I wanted to be Miss Thailand but dad said I am too clever.