Birthday warning

I just had a lovely sleep and dreamed that it was my birthday today and I didn't have to wait a whole month and a week.

In case you don't know; my birthday is on 3rd of July.

If you're thinking about a present for me then I need to tell you; don't bother with toys and dolls and stuff. they are OK for a while but I soon get bored.

What I really like is anything dirty. Old shoes are a favourite. I can't seem to get enough of them, but have to make sure dad isn't watching when I put them in my mouth.

I like playing with bits of brick and stuff that bloody useless builders leave lying around. And of course, sand and sharp tools.

Best of all is anything I can stick my fingers in. Electric sockets are OK, but the holes are just a little too small.

There are two holes in the floor where the door bolts go at night time. They're just right and are always full of exciting stuff, like dead insects and occasionally, small buttons. I like to suck small buttons and make my dad call me a little bugger.

If you want to send me a card; I like animals, especially kangaroos. Dad told me that the word kangaroo is Australian for "I don't know." When Captain Hook discovered Australia, he asked a man he saw on the beach "What's that animal called?" and the man answered "kangaroo." I don't know for sure if that's true. Knowing my dad, it probably isn't.

Best of all, you can send me an e-mail. I don't get enough of them. I'm saving the ones I get on a special file so's I'll have lots to read when I learn how to.

RAINY DAYS ARE HERE AT LAST

It's been rainy a lot this week, which is a good job, because we haven't got any water.

Dad left the tap running and the pump that sucks the water out of the ground and fills our taps got blocked with sand, and the only man who knows how to fix it has been playing cards for three days and won't come to fix it because dad keeps shouting at him to come and bloody fix it.

It's great fun though because we have to collect all the rain water, and I get dunked in the big jar for my bath. And mum doesn't have to water the garden, so I get to play with her more and stop getting on dad's nerves.