Blogs and dogs are stupid

These blog things are silly aren't they? I mean, I start here in the middle, continue on and then go down to the beginning, which is at the end. Even the Chinese with their up and down and the Arabs with their right to left seem to make more sense. Then when I've finished for the day, I have to press 'start' to 'close'.

Sorry, I'm beginning to sound like my dad, he's always complaining. Being stuck out here with him in the middle of Thailand is bound to 'pression me. Still, he's not as stupid as our three dogs. How they got to be here I can't 'magine. I wouldn't have chosen them to live with us, I'd have chosen proper dogs.

The boss dog is called Leo. She's the boss because she says so, and being the eldest and fattest. She's a Doberman but doesn't know she's only a miniature, being about the size of a proper Doberman's fat breakfast.

Then there's Tiger. He's ginger and scruffy. Why the called him Tiger, I can't 'magine. Tigers are brave, fierce and magnificent. Our Tiger isn't. Oh, he's brave and fierce enough when it comes to yakking and chasing kids and old ladies on motorbikes. He knows they're not going to stop and chase him back. But if someone lets off a firework, and believe me they do that all the time out here in the middle of nowhere, then he runs and hides under the cupboard. Should have called him Powder Puff I think.

Jenny is black and shaggy. Gary says there's a bit of Chow in her, but then, what does he know? nothing. She likes to be left alone but the other two won't let her and she's stupid enough to do whatever they tell her. So she's the one who gets shouted at the most. It's always Jenny that gets caught with dad's newspaper in her mouth. Even though it was Tiger who pinched it. And it's always Jenny with her head in the rubbish bin when dad goes to see what all the noise was, while Leo and Tiger just sit there shrugging their shoulders.

Dad says he should get rid of the bloody three of them but the reason they're here in the first place is because someone else had already got rid of them. And mum never listens to dad when he puts his foot down.

She keeps coming home with stuff that dad doesn't want, like purple plastic baskets, things with pictures of the Kings head on it, Leo, Tiger, Jenny and my brother Pang.

He's not my real brother. He's not even my half brother. He's somebody Else's. His mum didn't want him as she had a new baby and no proper husband so mum brought him to live with us. Dad put his foot down so he got to stay.

Dad says he couldn't see the little bugger starve. He only wishes he would eat so much.