Love is...what?

When I grow up I'm going to have lots of love affairs.
I know I'll be married to dad by then but he won't mind, he will be very old when I've growed up. He's had loads of love affairs anyway. With Princesses and film stars and footballers' wives, though not with Posh Becks, and barmaids. They're the best he says "Always say thank you they do."

He says he loves the smell of Black ladies though Chinese are better cooks.
Princesses can be a bit snooty if you haven't got four posters.
And movie stars always look at themselves in the mirror and not at him.
He gets a great kick out of Footballers' wives, but that's true of any one's wife.
Barmaids are great, especially fat ones. They're always so grateful. Though he does get fed up having to keep changing his phone number.
But when mum says "who's best" he always says "You."

I don't know why people get jealous. Mum isn't jealous of my dad she says he can have a love affair over her dead body. He says "That's very selfless of you."

But I don't think he can have love affairs any more. Not now he's got me.
"What bloody time do I get?" He says.

That's why I want him to tell me all about his love affairs now, while he can still remember them and thinks I don't understand.

He never talks to anyone else about his love affairs and there is one he won't even tell me. The one that broke his heart and made him rebound on to my mum and have me.

I think it may have been one of the Princesses. He probably ran out of four posters and couldn't afford any more. But then he has plenty of money. He must have because whenever we go to the market, he always buys the big size ice creams and they're very expensive.

A CRYING SHAME

I had my first tantrum today. I don't know what came over me. I must be catching dad's black moods I think. He was having one of his, probably because my brothers who aren't my real brothers were watching "bloody cartoons" and he couldn't get any peace and quiet.

"Good" I thought, I can get to do my blog. But no, he shouted at me "Get off my bloody 'puter" he said.
I don't know what came over me, I screamed. He said it was a tantrum. It made him sad and he went down the pub.

Now I'm thinking, I can have a tantrum whenever he's being horrible and won't let me have things. Maybe I can have a tantrum and get to try try Coca Cola or eat his cigarettes.

What do you think?

I never get your comments. There's a box at the bottom of this page.
Or you can e-mail me if you're like my dad and don't like signing into things you don't understand.