Hi again, that's better, he's asleep again so I have a chance to get to know you.

As I said, my name is India Frances Hope, I'm 8 months old and a clever little bugger. At least that's what my dad calls me and he should know, being a clever old bugger.

We have what he calls a liberal relationship. I don't know really what that means exactly, maybe it's that he lets me do what i like and it doesn't upset him even though he says it does. I get a little upset by some of the things he says and does but I don't mind really.

I looked up liberal in my dictionary, well, it's his really but he never uses it, says he knows all the words already. He's such a liar. It has six different meanings and I wouldn't say any of them fit him.

I then looked up relationship. "The state of being connected by blood or marriage." That I understood, we are connected by blood because he's my dad and when I grow up I'm going to marry him.

Mum says I can't because he's already married to her. When I learn to speak I'll have explain to her that there's such a thing as divorce. If she loves me as she says, she'll understand. He married her on the rebound anyway so it probably doesn't count.

Yes, I had to look up rebound as well, I seem to spend half my life looking in the dictionary. Thank Christ he doesn't know many big words or I'd have no life at all.

I had such a shock and it made me very sad. "In a state of recovery from rejection, disappointment etc: he married her on the rebound from an unhappy love affair."

He never speaks about it and I wouldn't push my luck by expecting him to. I'll get to the bottom of it one day, Then I'll help him get over it and he will be happy for ever. In the mean time I'll just have to put up with his 'kit see dam'.

Well I told you I was a clever little bugger didn't I? I Understand Thai as well as English. That's because I am Thai. I was born in Thailand. So was my mum but dad wasn't, He was born in England.

'Kit see dam' means more or less 'black thoughts'. He has them about once a week, they don't last long which is a shame because I get to have a go on his 'puter without him shouting at me.

The first time I saw him having a black thought it was dead scary. I didn't know it was a black thought, I didn't understand. He told me to "bugger off and leave me alone." He said I was getting on his nerves, touching his things all the time, making a mess and everything. "Bloody you too." I thought. "I don't need you either."

I think that's why we get on so well, now that I understand he's had an unhappy love affair and is rebounding.