A word from the not so wise

When my dad has his black thoughts he likes to drink beer. I tasted it once when he wasn't looking. It's horrible, I can't see how it can help. If he finishes all the beer he drinks rum, whiskey, brandy and anything he can get his hands on. That must be even worse if he only drinks it when all the beer is finished. I don't want to grow up and have black thoughts if I have to drink beer.

Anyway, when he's like that it means I can have a go on his 'puter. He's in 'kit see dam' mode at the moment so doesn't care what I do. If he was well I'd get "Oy, what are you doing? Leave that alone you little bugger."

As it is, he's watching me now and smiling. I wonder what he's thinking.
He told me once what he was thinking when he had a black thought. "Oh, this and that. I've not always been a good man you know. I've done many bad things in my life. Regrets? I don't think so. I'm sorry for many things but I don't think I have any regrets. I've always said, and I tell you now little India, If you think you'll regret doing something, then don't do it."

I thought that was such a wise and wonderful thing to say. My dad's such a clever old bugger. Then it came to me; how am I to know that if I'm to regret something if I've not done it? Then it will be too late not to do it and I'll have regrets.

I can't wait until I can talk and tell him what a load of dribble dish he comes out with at times.

Be careful what you wish for, it may come true

My dad is brilliant. He can say some funny things, sometimes. He can paint lovely pictures even though they don't look like anything. He writes exciting 'venture stories on his 'puter. I have to take his word for that though. He makes beautiful things from wood with his chisels and stuff. He can drink loads of beer without getting sick. But he can't sing. He tries, he tries too often and I wish he wouldn't.

My dad says that if he had a wish it would be to understand and play music. "No, correct that, if I had two wishes, one of them would be to understand and play music." He didn't say what the other wish would be.

If I had two wishes, one of them would be for all the stupid people in the world except for my dad to pissadear.

There wouldn't be many of us left but we'd be much happier. There would be no money, no Gary or Manchester, no religion and people would not have war. Just lots of time to have love affairs.

I'm not telling what my other wish would be. I think everyone should have a wish and keep it secret. Don't you?